red bird

red bird

growing up, my grandma always had an old wives tale for everything. i always thought they were so silly, but now i catch myself saying them or saying “my grandma always said _______.” and i’ve always known she had one for cardinals, but for the life of me could never remember what it was exactly.

ANXIETY

full transparency, there’s a lot of vulnerability and rambling happening in this post. 

a few months ago I mentioned how my anxiety was at an all time high the year before, how I was taking some steps to curb some of it, and deep down so much of it was what I wanted to be able to say was true. yes, it was definitely a lot better (no repeat sitting on my parents floor mid-attack), but by no means gone – even though I wanted so desperately to believe it was.

FRIENDSHIPS, POST-COLLEGE

Making friends once you’re done with school is rough. It’s something I have been struggling with for a few years.

I’ve been talking with a friend from college a lot recently about meaningful friendships & finding those friendships that you want to invest in. We talked about the friendships that we had cherished for so long, that just weren’t really working anymore. How for a period of time, this was upsetting and we were jealous of other relationships we saw them investing in (damn you social media comparisons). But were those the relationships we needed in life? Maybe, as awful as it sounds, those friendships were meant to have a shelf life?

Present

When I took a look back at what I felt I truly struggled with & what a good portion of my goals had to do with, it only made sense that my word be PRESENT.I have been struggling to fully be committed to things and be in the moment. Last year, I read Present Over Perfect(highly recommend BTW) and it was a real eye opener. It showed me how much I worried about making sure I had the perfect Instagram post or photo-op - I am actually ashamed to admit that I went out of my way to plan some things because I knew they would be great posts. WHAT KIND OF LIFE IS THAT? A terrible one and one that leads to way too many internal struggles & too much comparison, and straying away from my beliefs & who I am.