It’s been a while since we chatted last, almost five months to be exact. A lot has happened in those five months. So let me catch you up some, and maybe give a little more insight as to why I took a hiatus:
There were a lot of constant struggles about what was going on and how to deal with them. I don’t deal well with conflict which led to almost five long months of hating my living situation. I was constantly dreading going home, I spent a bunch of time at my parents, friends houses or just sitting in my room trying to get away from all the issues – which honestly just made me resent the situation more because why was I having to seclude myself. The only plus side was going home to my sweet pup. I stopped feeling safe and welcome in my own home. I had quiet a few anxiety attacks that started from silly little things that weren’t even issues but sitting on my parents kitchen floor Easter Sunday crying for no logical reason was icing on the cake.
While all those issues were happening, I was also trying to find a new house to rent with two new roommates. I spent hours trying to find a house in budget & the location we were wanting. The more time that passed and closer we got to the end of my lease, the more I started stressing about finding somewhere to live. In mid-March, my parents suggested revisiting the idea of buying a house (I looked into this in early 2016, but it ended up not working out and I decided it wasn’t meant to be at the time). So I found a great realtor and we started looking at houses – no joke I think we looked at more than 50 by the end of May, but I’m getting ahead of myself.
Every house I looked at was beyond repair, too little for too much money, had weird vibes, or the most common occurrence – off the market before we made it to look at it or the owners accepted an offer while we were in there, that was a fun one. I upped my budget some, I expanded my radius quite a few times and we kept looking.
I started making plans to move back to my parents when my lease ended because we were to the point where I wouldn’t be able to close on a house by May 31 and I didn’t want to rush the process. This also meant that one of the girls I planned on living with had to move forward with other options because she needed a place to live. Everything about the situation was stressing me out, I like having a plan and this was not how I envisioned things – I also didn’t want to have to move back to my parents for an indefinite amount of time because it felt like failing and I didn’t want to be a burden.
At the same time, there were numerous things happening at work that were (and TBH are still) making me question if this is still the right fit for me. I’m not going to get in to all of that but I’m having real doubts about what my place is and what I want for my career moving forward. But that is a story for another day.
I’ve also been struggling with needing a community of people to do life with, share struggles with and exciting times. I have a small core group of people I count on but 3/4 live outside of OKC, so it makes it hard to get together. I joined a small group at church & Junior League in hopes of building that community I have been craving for some time. And slowly but surely, I think I’m getting there. But that the end of my tangent for now
Now back to the main focus – buying a house. On June 1, my parents & I met a realtor at lunch to look at a house on the edge of Mustang (it’s in OKC, so it still fit that criteria, but it was a bit further south than I was planning). We were the first ones to look at it – it went on the market at 10:30 that morning. On my drive there, I decided to change the radio to Air1 and the song playing was about trusting in God’s timing and in the plan he has – I tried not to read too much in it, but if we’re being honest, I was looking for signs everywhere at this point for what I was supposed to do. I pulled up to the house and it just felt right, I walked in and saw nothing major needed to be done, it had a huge backyard for Sully to romp around in, it was more than 1,000 square feet and was in my budget, it had an attached two car garage, two bathrooms – everything about it seemed too good to be true. After a lengthy conversation with my dad & realtor, I put an offer in but tried to put it out of my mind – I didn’t want to get my hopes up again. Late that evening, my realtor called to tell me the sellers had accepted my offer. Inside I was screaming with joy but on the outside I was trying to play it cool because deep down there was a part of me that was still worried something would fall through. I tried not to tell too many people, because in my mind every person I told was just one more person I would have to tell it didn’t work out. I thought this through the whole process – the inspection, asking for repairs, appraisal – something would come back negative. The morning of closing I was internally a hot mess, I kept preparing for something to fall through. I prayed the entire way there for everything to go smoothly, for my nerves to be calmed and just thanking God for all the opportunities I have been given to get me to this point.
At 9:45 a.m. on June 10, I had the keys in hand to my new house. MY HOUSE. Wow, that is still weird to say. Never in a million years did I think I would own a house by myself at age 23 (but that’s a story for another day). Once we finished everything closing, I drove straight to my new house to soak everything in for a bit by myself, before anyone knew what I was doing. It was in those 20 minutes that it finally hit me what happened, what this meant and all the joy & excitement I had been holding back just came pouring out – positive I spent a good 10 minutes just walking around my house crying and praying over it for all the memories and fellowship it will hold in the future for me.
If you’re still with me, because this is a record long post, I want to thank you for sticking with me. I have some ideas of future posts, some more on what I’ve learned in this hiatus and the past few months, some updates on projects at the house, and just life in general.
I can’t wait for y’all to join me on this new adventure!